Little Schemer
by MisterCreamPie
Summary: Zexion has been feeling really strange lately. The other members have been noticing it too but no one has the slightest clue of what could be going on!
1. Little Schemer

Zexion put his hand on his stomach, though it was unintentional. This was worrying him, the strange choices of food, the mood swings, morning sickness, and not to mention all the meetings he had been missing because of his sudden craving to sleep constantly. He breathed in and out deeply. He looked down at his hand. This feeling made him feel...hungry. He who usually ate like a bird! was now eating like a greedy pig! He was also very...grouchy lately like every time someone would say-

"ZEXY!" Demyx yelled grabbing Zexion in a choke hold from behind.

Zexion jumped and hit Demyx in the chin with his head. Demyx stumbled back and stared wide eyed as Zexion began scolding him.

"What the FUCK are you doing!? Are you FUCKING serious!? It's way too early in the morning for my to put up with your SHIT so FUCKING calm the FUCK down!" he yelled breathing heavily at the sudden loss of oxygen.

Demyx looked like he had just seen a ghost.

"Jeez Zexy...I was just..playin' around...why are you so mean all of a sudden? You've been hanging out with Superior too much! You...you...MEANIE!!" Demyx yelled starting to bawl his eyes out.

Zexion looked sad suddenly. He fell to his knees and crawled over to Demyx and hugged him, beginning to cry along with him.

"I'm so sorry Demyx! Please forgive me! I'm sorry, so so so sorry!" he bawled squeezing Zexion a little tighter.

Demyx rubbed his eyes, "It's okay Zexy, it's not your fault, and uhm...what do you mean too early in the morning? It's almost 7 p.m."

All he could do was stare, "7:00 exactly?" he asked?

Demyx nodded in return and he blinked. "That must mean that I was asleep for..." Zexion calculated in his head for a split second it seemed. "Exactly 23 hours and 46 minutes...correct?

Demyx shrugged, "I guess I'll take your word for it," he said. "Now come on, dinner is ready," he smiled holding his hand out to Zexion.

"Okay...who made it? I hope they made a lot!" Zexion smiled starting to lick his lips.

"Xaldin," Demyx said. "And you said that you hated when people made too much because leftovers were a hassle it keep around in the kitchen," he nodded.

Zexion shook his head, "I'm starved, come on let's hurry before it is gone!" he said giddily.

Demyx was taken aback by Zexion's behavior. "Uh...y-yeah..." he finally said chasing after the schemer.

Zexion ran into the kitchen with a hearty "hello" to everyone. He slid into a chair and sat on his legs like a child. (He was too short to sit on his bottom and still reach it's top.) He licked his lips and picked up his fork and knife banging them on the table childishly. He kept making remarks such as "Make haste some of us are STARVING!" or "Food! Food! I'm HUNGRY!!" This had everyone at the table staring at him oddly. Never once had they seen Zexion smile without him having an intent of evil or something having to do with the downfall of another.

"Zexion...are you feeling alright?" Larxene asked blinking concerned green eyes.

This was another odd thing, Larxene never acted concerned towards ANYONE. Zexion should have been no exception, but apparently he was.

Zexion smiled wider, "I am feeling GREAT!" He smiled. "So refreshed and good and like I have gotten the best sleep of my life! I can eat a horse...where's the food!?" he asked loudly.

Xaldin came in with a large tray, followed by Xigbar who carried two extensively large bowls of mixed, steamed, vegetables, followed by Roxas who was carrying two more large bowls of mashed potatoes. They set it down and Xaldin unveiled an extremely large turkey. Everyone was going to grab some with their fork, but Zexion got there first. He began shoveling the food onto his plate, one forkful at a time until about half the turkey had been transported onto his plate. He then got the bowl of vegetables and the bowl of mashed potatoes and shoveled that on top of everything else. Everyone kept staring, no one even thought about touching their food. All the hunger they had obtained from their day's missions were quickly tucked into the recesses of their minds as this oddity filled the vacant area. Zexion looked up at them with a mouthful of food. He slowly swallowed and his eyes scanned everyone up and down the table.

"What?" He asked finally. "Is there something on my face?" Zexion wiped his mouth with his sleeve, the silence began to bother him a lot.

"Zexion...?" Saix said.

"What?" zexion's eyes swelled up with tears as everyone's eyes didn't leave him. "What are you guys staring at? Is it because I am fat!? Am I ugly?! Is THAT it!? How could you all be so insensitive?!" He cried he got out of the chair and grabbed his plate then proceeded to portal to his room. When he got there he angrily shoved the food into his mouth mumbling curse words to himself.

"Zexy!" Demyx yelled. The only sound to echo through the kitchen was Demyx's chair scraping against the ground and then a second one as Roxas jumped out of his chair.

"Demy!" Roxas yelled entering the same portal Demyx had made.

Everyone looked towards Xigbar as there was a third sound of chair legs scraping marble.

Xaldin glared at him, "Xigbar. Sit."

Xigbar sat down and crossed his arms. "That's not fair! They could be having a totally hott shota party! And I'm missing it because of YOU!" he pouted.

Zexion sniffed and started crying again when Roxas and Demyx appeared. They jumped onto his bed and looked up at him, "Aw what's wrong Zexy!?" They both asked in perfect unison.

"Everyone was staring at me lik I did something wrong and they were all looking at me like I was fat and ugly!" He sobbed.

"I don't think your fat OR ugly! You are the most beautiful person that I have ever met in my life, and don't let any of those hoes tell you different!" Demyx nodded.

"Yeah you have such a natural beauty that I am jealous! Do you know how hard it is for me to keep myself looking half as good as you!? I mean take Axel for example! I am head over heels in LOVE with him but he is always talking about Zexion Zexion Zexion, Zexion is so pretty, or Zexion is so attractive and has great sex appeal, blah blah blah and-"

"Roxas, you're rambling," Demyx whispered.

"Oh...yeah...sorry," Roxas laughed rubbing the back of his head.

Zexion smiled and started crying again, "You guys are the best friends ever! I love you guys!" He cried more and they all moved into a group hug.

From Xigbar's point of view (in the closet) that was totally hott. The three most sexiest guys in the organization (Besides himself) all snuggling up to each other. Now all they needed was some whipped cream, chocolate sauce, fuzzy hand cuffs a whip and some nice skimpy bathing suits. Xigbar nodded in content with his own thoughts.

Zexion suddenly sniffed the air and he wrinkled his nose. It smelt like cologne and beer.

He smirked and looked at the other two. "Hey guys, wanna have a make out contest?" he asked. "Winner gets to have the person of his choice, okay?" he asked.

Roxas and Demyx stared at him oddly. Usually when they suggested a make out contest Zexion refused.

"The one eyed hawk still watches the three playful mice with very bad intents," Zexion smiled waging a finger.

"Ohh!" Demyx and Roxas said at once. That was their code to tell each other Xigbar was watching. There were also other codes for other organization members, but that is unimportant at the moment.

"So, we can have whoever we choose?" Demyx asked.

Zexion nodded, "Yup, anyone!"

Roxas and Demyx both looked at each other and smirked.

"I think that me and Roxas would win no contest, but we want to teach little Zexy how to be a good kisser," Demyx said. He pinned Zexion's arms above his head with one hand and with the other he spread Zexion's legs.

"Ah No, Demyx, Roxas please. I can't...I-I love someone else," Zexion said in the perfect uke voice.

"Hehe, little Zexy we are going to have our way and there is nothing you can do about it," Demyx said licking his lips seductively. Roxas smiled and pulled up Zexion's shirt.

"Ah Roxas! Please don't!" Zexion pleaded.

Xigbar was completely lost in what was going on, that is until Lexaeus entered the dark room. Xigbar hoped, for Roxas and Demyx's sake that they ran, and fast.

"Hey Lexy!" The three shotas smiled.

Lexaeus smiled softly back despite the scene. He was quite used to it in fact. He blinked at them awaiting and answer to his unspoken question.

"One eyed hawk," Roxas said.

"In the closet," Demyx smiled.

"Cheap cologne," Zexion nodded.

"Oh," Lexaeus said. He walked to the closet and opened the door. He grabbed Xigbar by the hood of his coat and kicked him out of the room.

Zexion looked at the other two, "Can you guys leave? I need to talk to Lexaeus, it's important," he smiled softly.

The two shrugged and walked out of the room. Little did Zexion know they were listening from the outside.

"Lexaeus...I have to talk to you. I am scared, things are different with my body lately..." Zexion started.

"Zexion, I'm not really good with the human body you'd have to ask Vexen and-"

"I don't think I could tell him Lex...I'm...afraid..." Zexion swallowed.

Lexaeus kissed his temple and smiled, "I said I'd protect you from anything," he assured.

Zexion held Lexaeus' hand and nuzzled it. "Okay let's go to his lab then," he smiled.

Lexaeus picked Zexion up bridal style and summoned a portal.

"To Vexen's lab!" Zexion exclaimed.

bVexen's Lab/b

Vexen had Zexion sitting half naked on a cold metal dissecting table. Zexion was feeling a bit violated by all the weird tests being taken but he wanted to know what was wrong with him. Vexen's eyes widened as he read a small clipboard. He pulled Lexaeus over to the corner and whispered something in his ear. Zexion was beginning to feel worried when Lexaeus gave Vexen a shocked look.

"What is it!? What is it!?" Zexion asked frantically.

"Zexion I know this is illogical, but it is the only explanation I have...I think, although you are a male, you may be...pregnant," he said looking down.

Zexion got a scared look across his face and the tension forced him to pass out. He fell forward onto the floor.

Lexaeus rushed over and held him. "I'll take him," he said.


	2. Superior's way of Scolding

Zexion woke up in Lexaeus' bed. It was large and the sheets were a minty green color. He snuggled into the covers and smiled contentedly.

It must have just been a dream. "Guys can't get pregnant," Zexion reminded himself softly. "It was just a dream."

He sighed and got up beginning to stretch. At least he wasn't feeling hungry anymore. He yawned and looked down at his digital wrist watch. His slate colored hair swayed as he gasped at the time. "I was supposed to be at the meeting an hour ago!" he yelled to no one in particular. He got up and quickly dressed out of the pajamas Lexaeus most likely dressed him in. They were obviously not his because they went past his hand and almost touched the ground. The legs were also too long and covered his feet completely. He stripped of the bothersome clothing and changed into his usual cloak. He quickly summoned a portal to the meeting room where everyone stared at him.

"Hey guys!" He smiled. "Sorry I am soooo late but I accidently slept in past the meeting time so can I please not be in trouble?" he smiled.

"No." Xemnas said blankly before anyone else had a chance to speak.

"Nyoron?" Zexion said looking hopeful still.

"Trouble. You will see me after this meeting is over." Xemnas gave everyone a small card with the details of their missions and the worlds they were going to then dismissed them.

"Ohhhh, looks like Zexy is in trouble" Xigbar stuck his tongue out and let out a small snicker. Lexaeus narrowed his eyes and cracked his knuckles as they all conjured their dark vortexes and in a snap were gone.

Xemnas summoned his own portal and appeared next to Zexion. "I have noticed, VI, that you are very different as of late. You have been missing the majority of missions, meetings as well. Your appetite is beastly and no one can take your mood swings! I am afraid we may have to find a new VI, someone stronger, less lazy, more energized. Someone with a smaller appetite and less mood swings. Know that I am not kidding when I say that you bmust/b step up on your game, now."

Zexion nodded vigorously, "Yes superior. A-are we...th-through?" he asked hesitantly.

"Not even close." This was the Superior's reply as he rested and hand on the younger boy's groin. Zexion lit up like a fire cracker. He did not have one scheme in his genius brain to get himself out of this. He just let out a squeak as his superior tackled him and spread his legs with a devious grin upon his face.

Lexaeus was starting to worry when Zexion had not come out, but he would never dare to intrude on the Superior's important lectures. He learned from when the Superior called Xigbar Saix and Marluxia for a private meeting it could last from a few minutes to a few hours, each time it left the victim looking exhausted and just plain terrible. He was so drown out in his thoughts he hadn't realized that two of the younger nobodies had snuck up behind him.

"Lexy!" Roxas and Demyx yelled in perfect unison. Demyx jumped on his back and threw his arms around the taller male's neck. Roxas grabbed Lexaeus' arm and snuggled it. Lexaeus looked down at them and smiled then looked towards the room where his beloved was most likely being torn down by the superior's scoldings.

"C'mon Lexy! Why don't you ever talk!?" Demyx exclaimed.

"Yeah! You never smile either!" Roxas pouted. "You need to be more happy and upbeat! That way Zexion will be more happy too! Vexen once told me that if you are happy it can cheer your partner up too! Zexion is always so emo and depressed!"

Lexaeus let out a small, cough like, laugh. He nodded to them and smiled. "You are right."

Demyx giggled, "That is good! the minute he sees your smile he will light up!"

"Sure?" Lexaeus asked softly.

"We are absolutely positively sure!" Roxas and Demyx both said with large smiled upon their faces.

The door slowly started to open and Lexaeus Roxas and Demyx looked towards it, expecting Zexion.

"Zexy!" Roxas and Demyx smiled.

Lexaeus smiled and held out his arms waiting for a hug from the smaller boy.

Zexion looked down and ran through the hall before opening the door to his room and slamming it shut. Lexaeus' smile turned to a worried frown. He looked down at the two smaller nobodies searching for an answer to Zexion's behavior.

Roxas thought, "I know! Zexion is just feeling sad right now because he was scolded by Xemnas! He just needs to see your smile because he didn't even look up when he walked out!"

Demyx nodded, "Yeah! Go to his room and cheer him up!"

Lexaeus smiled again and made a portal into Zexion's room. He found Zexion crying face down in his pillow.

"Zex?" He said approaching the boy.

"Leave me alone!" Zexion yelled in reply.

Lexaeus sat on the edge of the bed and kicked off his boots. He laid next to Zexion and stroked his hair comfortingly.

"What's wrong?" Lexaeus asked.

"Nothing," Zexion replied wiggling around to turn away from him.

Lexaeus wrapped his arms around Zexion hugging him tightly. He kissed Zexion's head and nuzzled him. "I think it will look like you," he muttered into Zexion's hair.

Zexion scoffed, "I am not pregnant!" he said. "I am a man...only Larxene or Namine can get pregnant, but nobody likes Larxene and Namine is too young."

Lexaeus smiled, "It is in fact possible, Vexen said so remember?"

"Just because Vexen says something is possible doesn't mean it's true!" Zexion said.

Lexaeus sat up and turned Zexion onto his back. He bent down and started to kiss his tummy. "Hi baby, I am your daddy," he smiled.

"You are a fool..." Zexion mumbled. "There is no baby, you silly talking to my stomach."

"Hello baby, I am going to be the best daddy ever," Lexaeus continued.

"Lex...stop...you never talk why are you starting now...?" Zexion asked in an 'It's kind of annoying tone'.

Lexaeus ignored Zexion, something rarely ever done, and continued his conversation with Zexion's stomach. "I am sure you will be the most adorable baby ever and I am also positive that you are going to have the best mommy in the world."

Zexion rolled away, "Stop I'm serious Lex..." he said.

Lexaeus rolled next to him and began kissing his neck.

"Lex...stop...I'm serious," Zexion said trying to get away.

Lexaeus, who was interpreting Zexion's sudden shyness as a game, continued. He put his hands under Zexion shirt and tweaked with his nipples. Zexion moaned softly but was still trying to wiggle away.

"Why so shy?" Lexaeus whispered in his ear.

Zexion started crying. This situation was turning out a lot like the one with his once admirable Superior. He looked up at Lexaeus while tears streamed down his face. Lexaeus could feel his little heart thumping against his chest. (Because I say so!! DDDD) He blinked and released Zexion who proceeded to roll off of the bed and crawl to a corner. He held his head and rocked back and forth breathing heavily to himself. Lexaeus quickly sprang into action, wondering what was wrong with his beloved.

"Zexion?" He asked stroking the boy's cheek.

Zexion squeezed his eyes shut and started to sib loudly. "Why does it have to be me?" he asked.

bA/N: Hey everybody!! Happy April fools day!! Okay...so I know...the more stories I write and the more chapters I add...seem to get...worse. It's like my ability to produce something that is even remotely good has vanished...and now I must go be emo and cut myself...srsly...lol jkjk...I just really feel that way. (Minus the cutting part shivers) /b


	3. Ending because I am lazy :D

Lexaeus caressed Zexion's cheek gently. "What is wrong?" he asked.

Zexion looked away, "I'm tired, excuse me." Zexion stood up and summoned a portal, he slowly walked through it and closed the portal.

Lexaeus watched with sad eyes. He wanted to help his Zexion get through this tough time. He was also very excited about having a baby with the younger nobody, but if Zexion didn't want to have it then it wouldn't be the same. He wanted for his lover to feel the same way that he did. He took out a small white box with a pearly white ribbon wrapped around it. He smiled; gentle was his smile. You could see his smile in his eyes as well.

"I suppose that I will have to give this to him another time." Lexaeus smiled and pushed it under his bed. He laid back and curled into a (rather large) small ball. He couldn't close his eyes; excitement was getting the better of him. He hoped that Zexion would like the present.

Zexion was sitting at the table eating breakfast. The lucky charms moved around in somewhat of a pattern. A marshmallow circled around in one direction while the grain part that nobody liked waltzed around it. He swirled the cereal pieces around with his spoon hypnotically. Lexaeus entered the kitchen and nodded at Larxene whom was sitting on the desk and filing her nails. He approached Zexion and opened his mouth, about to speak when Zexion interrupted.

"Lexaeus-" he started. "I have decided to accept that I am having a child-"

Zexion was the one interrupted this time by Larxene's loud coughing. "What?" she cackled. "Pregnant?!"

Zexion chose to ignore her, as did Lexaeus. Lexaeus smiled and hugged Zexion, "I knew that you would accept it!" he said.

"I am not choosing to accept it, I am just not denying it," Zexion corrected. "I am going to have Vexen get this thing out of me. Now."

Lexaeus just stared, "Zexion..." His eyes showed sadness and his heart (Once again because I say so) dropped to his feet.

Zexion turned to leave. He marched off like a soldier trying to suck in his, obviously growing, stomach. Larxene stopped laughing and watched Lexaeus. She felt bad now; he looked rather disappointed. She jumped from the counter and approached the large man. Her hand gently caressed his back. She was being caring; very unlike her.

"Hey Lex...I know that you are probably disappointed-" her voice was cut off by Lexaeus'.

"Yes...I am." He dropped the box he had been hiding previously.

Larxene peered over at it. She knew it was rude to see what it was, but it never stopped her before. She picked up the box and gently plucked the string. Before taking off the lid she set it onto the table. Her eyes wandered over the text printed onto the lid's top. It read:

"To Zexion,

I hope that you will like this present that I got for you and the baby.

Love, Lexaeus"

Her lips curled into a devious smile as she slowly slipped the top from the box. Her eyes widened at the sight of the present. It was small, light green, footsie pajamas with a small frog on the breast. Across the stomach were darker green stitches that read 'Daddy's baby'. Larxene bit her bottom lip, everyone was wrong if she thought she wasn't going to fix this. Zexion was being crazy, having a child was a beautiful thing and, maybe it was her mother's intuition, (Although she is not a mother...yet) but she had a plan to help the two and bring Zexion to his senses. She repackaged the pajamas and smiled, carrying it under her arm, making her way towards Demyx's room.

"Hey Roxas!" Demyx smiled smearing black nail polish onto his toes.

"Yeah?!" Roxas asked with a smile. He flipped the page of a cosmo magazine.

"You know, Zexion having a baby, it's a great thing because now we can have jobs baby sitting!" Demyx cheered.

Roxas nodded and rolled off of Demyx's bed and onto the floor that was layered with silk blankets. "And we finally won't be the youngest in the organization!" he added.

Demyx smiled and hugged Roxas, "You know! We should have a baby then maybe we won't have to go on missions like Zexion doesn't have to!"

Roxas giggled, "Okay! We can have a baby! Are you sure Xigbar will not mind?"

Demyx giggled too, "Yes! Of course he will not, and Axel?"

Roxas shook his head, "We just won't tell Axel," he said putting his fingers to his lips.

Demyx gulped, "I don't want Axel to kill me!" he nodded.

Roxas smiled and tackled Demyx then began to tickle him. "Teehee!! You are so silly Demyx!" he laughed.

Larxene quickly entered the room. "You guys can have your sex time later! We are going to help young lovers be united because things are not going right at all!" she said almost in one breath. She grabbed each of the teenagers by the arm and pulled them up. "Come on!"

Roxas looked Demyx and shrugged. "Kay,'" they both said.

"Hey Zexion!" Roxas and Demyx smiled intruding into the teenager's room. "Come on! We are going to go for a walk! Come with us!"

Zexion was curled on his bed staring at his bland, mint green, walls. He turned away from them and mumbled something unintelligible.

They dragged him off of his bed and held him up. "Come on!" they both whined.

Zexion flopped around; he was suddenly very tired.

Roxas and Demyx stared at him. "You look so pathetic! Come on now!" They each grabbed an arm and carried him off humming in perfect unison.

"I don't wanna go..." Zexion mumbled but the two ignored him.

"Come on Lex! It'll take your mind off of things, just a quick trip to the shopping district! Pretty please! I really need someone to carry all the stuff I am going to get!" Larxene begged.

Lexaeus was quiet as he thought it over, "Okay..." he whispered.

Larxene clung arms with him and smiled widely. "Thanks Lex!" she laughed.

"Okay Zexion! We're takin' a quick trip to the...SHOPPING DISTRICT!" Roxas and Demyx cheered trying to make it sound more interesting than they knew Zexion was portraying it to be.

Zexion looked at the ground, "Yay..." he said halfheartedly.

"Oh! Don't be such a pouter!" Demyx pouted.

Zexion shrugged.

"Yeah you are sooooo emo!" Roxas added.

Zexion shrugged.

"Be happy!" Roxas and Demyx smiled.

Zexion shrugged.

"Come on Lexaeus! You are sooooo boring right now I wanted for you to entertain me a little bit, at least talk!" Larxene pouted.

Lexaeus shrugged.

"Say something! Tell me to shut up! Anything!" she urged.

Lexaeus shrugged.

"Please! I will make you hold more bags if you don't talk to me!" Larxene said sounding very aggravated.

Lexaeus shrugged.

"Larxene!" Demyx and Roxas yelled happily.

"Demyx Roxas!" Larxene giggled.

"Lexaeus!" Roxas and Demyx cheered.

"Zexion!" Larxene smiled.

Zexion and Lexaeus' heads jerked up and they stared at each other. Lexaeus blushed as his eyes traveled down to Zexion's stomach. Zexion placed his hand on his stomach and looked down at it too. Before they knew it Larxene Roxas and Demyx had disappeared.

"Heh...you really want this baby huh...?" Zexion asked softly.

Lexaeus nodded, "I got a present but-"

Larxene ran up to Lexaeus and shoved a pearly white box in his face. "You forgot this!" she said before running off with Roxas and Demyx again.

Lexaeus set all of Larxene's bags on the sidewalk and brought the box up to Zexion. He opened it and held out the small outfit. "I made this..." he said under his breath.

Zexion's eyes flickered with surprise and then happiness then they slowly outlined with tears, "Lexaeus..." he said swallowing back the hiccups that tried to crawl up his throat. "You...made this?"

Lexaeus nodded and smile softly. Zexion ran up to Lexaeus and jumped into his arms. "I love it! I really do! I am sorry about saying I did not want to have the baby! I do, if it's with you I really do!" He nuzzled Lexaeus' chest with a large smile on his face.

Lexaeus nuzzled the top of Zexion's head and then set him down. "I am not done," he said.

"Not done?" Zexion inquired tilting his head to the side curiously.

Lexaeus got on one knee and held out a box; he was about eye level with Zexion. Zexion felt his heart jump, "Lexaeus!" he gasped.

Lexaeus opened the box and inside was a diamond ring. It was silver with a large square diamond right in the center. Below the diamond was green dyed metal so the diamond looked like it was glowing green. There was also a pink heart and a gold line on the inside. Over the gold stripe the words 'My heart belongs to you' were engraved. Zexion stared at the ring that was gently placed onto his ring finger.

Off to the corner Larxene, Demyx, and Roxas were giggling and complimenting each other on a job well done.

bA/N: I think I'll just stop this story here! THE END!! HAHAHAHAHAHA DDDDDDD I don't feel like continuing really because I suddenly feel like shit...Like sick...ON MY SPRING BREAK TO!! gets thermometer and medicine/b


End file.
